My Experience With Naija Police
It was a cold Saturday afternoon, it had rained heavily that morning and the chilly wind had taken over. I had just finished evangelizing and sharing of handbills (as it was the custom of the church to do so every Saturday) and I was too tired to walk back home so I decided to take a bike, I flagged a bike down and negotiated the price, I offered to pay N40 which the bike man reluctantly accepted muttering something about how I was greedy, I was too tired to reply him so I just mounted the bike and watched patiently as he looked both left and right to make sure the road was safe for him to enter, after some seconds he eased himself into the road and we were on our way.
We had barely gotten far when I noticed a police van trailing us, I asked the bike man what he had done thinking he had done something wrong, I got a negative reply and asked him to slow down so they could catch up with us, if we had done anything wrong then they’d tell us but if we hadn’t then they’d just pass us.
The bike man slowed down a bit and the van caught up with us, “Good afternoon” I said, noticing they were at the same speed with us, “Where are you coming from and going to” one of the men with a cross-eye asked, if only he’s eyes had been straight I’d have known he was referring to me and would have answered escaping the words that ensued after the silence, “You dey mad, no be you I dey follow talk” by now all the men in the van were looking at me with angry faces, “Sir, are you referring to me?” I asked scared and surprised at the same time, I’m not ready for police wahala, “Park that bike, park the bike now!” One of the police officers with stained teeth thundered, the bike man wasted no time stopping, I told him to make a run for it and if we were able to out run the police I’d make sure I flex him well, the fool was jelly-livered, he would rather accept peace than flexing, he stopped close to the market area, since I was the one who had done something wrong and not him, he immediately asked me to come down, I barely got off the bike before he zoomed off muttering something about police and their useless wahala.
It was me and the policemen today, if there was one thing I hated it was publicity and here I was standing by the roadside in the market with a police van stopping some feet ahead just because of me and they looked angry. The van stopped and the four policemen with dirty uniforms and substandard AK 47 guns hopped off, I wanted to make a run for it but to what avail, they’d only catch up with me and probably nail me with an offense I hadn’t committed. I just stood there scared of what this people might do to me, though I was
innocent but the police had a way of making you feel guilty not withstanding. The officer with the cross-eye looked angrier than the rest of them all, he cocked his gone as he marched towards me, my fear intensified, this people meant business, “so you deaf when I been dey ask you question bah?” He shouted as he grabbed my trouser, the embarrassment was starting to get much, people were already gathering, some were coming down their bikes to watch the scene, others simply slowed down to get a good look, public humiliation, my worst nightmare. I was confused, humiliated and scared, I was wondering what I had done wrong, worried about the onlookers and what the police could do to me, “sir I didn’t know it was me you were asking, I’m sorry” I humbly said, the police could make you loyal instantly, even as a law student now was not the time to claim rights, Nigeria is a lawless country and trying to read out my fundamental human rights would only land me in more trouble, “sharp man, free the guy trouser” a fat older officer requested or commanded, doesn’t really matter the tone at which he said it but the cross-eye officer immediately let go, apparently the fat older officer was their boss, “where you for dey come?” The old officer asked, he looked calm, “I went to evangelise sir, and I was just going home” I was already shaking, more people had joined the crowd by now, I needed to leave this place, it was too much humiliation, “see, tell me the truth now o, or else…” “Sir I’m serious, I went evangelising I’m just on my way home” I could barely recognise my voice, these men were treating me like a criminal, I heard it was better to be humble, and answer every of their questions, “oga make dis guy kneel down, e think sey na joke we dey joke for here” the stupid cross-eye office thundered, what was wrong with this guy, what did I do to him sef? But all that was in my head, slowly I knelt down on the road, it was a great show for the crowd by now, some were pointing, others were laughing, I don die.
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I remembered my neighbours ordeal with the police, where he was arrested after he made a transaction with the ATM, he explained that their aim was to get you into their station and “anything wey make dem carry u enter their station kasala don burst” the words played in my head, so there and then I started praying against any spirit that poses contrary to my freedom, “where ur hostel dey?” The crooked nose officer asked, it was the first time he spoke, “its not far from here sir, very close to this place” I replied, he whispered something to the fat older police who gave a nod and smiled, it was a sardonic smile, I knew it wasn’t going to end well, they are not going to let me off easy, which kind wahala be dis one na, “oya get up, handcuff the guy and push him into the car, we dey carry am go In hostel”.
I was sandwiched between two police officers, the cross-eye officer and the one with stained teeth, the older police officer was sitting at the front seat along with the officer with the crooked nose, he was the one driving. The car had this unbelievable stench, I wondered if they had any reason by law to have bad car hygiene, the men were discussing something only they understood, I wasn’t even present with them there though I was present in body my mind was already playing around negative thoughts, I was wondering what my first night in a cell would be like that is if they found anything incriminating in my house. I knew I was innocent and shouldn’t be scared because I was clean and my house was clean, but it was the police, they had a way of making you feel guilty even when you are not.
“See that guy with camry car, follow am!” the officer with stained teeth shouted, that brought me back to reality and I wondered what the poor guy in the camry car had done, “no let the guy run comot o…. Overtake am before, no let am turn…arrrgh, bad market” they all casted long looks of disappointment, obviously the guy in the camry had done nothing, it was then it dawned on me that these men were out hunting for innocent victims to prey, unfortunately I have fallen a victim. I gave the directions to my hostel and we got there within minutes, it was about a ten minutes drive from where I was apprehended, it only took fifteen minutes because of the detour they took, while trying to nail an innocent guy.